if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
