He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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