nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
