So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
