I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
