Heybabeimwearingurpanties
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
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