high people should be assigned attendants
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
