Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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