At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
