after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
