I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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