All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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