benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
