I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
