When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
