Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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