Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
