I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
This is my life. Enjoy the view
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
