Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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