i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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