is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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