whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
