Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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