We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
