We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
