There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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