my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
