glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
