At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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