Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
