This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
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