So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
