plz talk dirty to me
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
