Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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