Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
