no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
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