Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
