This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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