i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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