At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
