Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Randomize
