I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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