Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
