I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
