oh god the rape fog is back!
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Randomize
