marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
