He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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