whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
