I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
