do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
